Chapter Two | Mysite

Chapter two

The Better Path

Seeking the Better Path

We all sense that there is, or at least should be, a better path – one that will bring us a greater sense of peace and fulfillment. We know it is there, just beyond our grasp, but how do we find it and lay hold of it. Opportunities exist but do we recognize them as opportunities? There are many choices to be made, any number of paths to be taken, how do we make the choice? Sometimes the options that seem most attractive are deceptive and lead us to disaster. Do we have the courage to seize opportunity while it’s there? We need to find the right path. We need find the truth and the wisdom to follow it.

What is the Better Path?

Some, in fact many, say that if we establish goals and work toward them we will achieve our desires and in doing so find happiness and fulfillment. Some pursue this concept with ruthless determination, sacrificing everything to the idol of their desire to achieve –stepping over, or on, anyone who stands in their way. Some of them achieve their dreams of wealth and power but none, that I have ever heard about, find peace, joy or contentment because in the end they spend all of their time fighting to protect what they have and trying to acquire more. What they so desperately wanted to possess ends up possessing them!

Some have, more wisely, set personal goals that provide for the pursuit of balance between: work and leisure, spending and saving, acquiring and giving. I use the term “more wisely” because most experts agree the those who lead a more balanced life and who invest themselves and their money in helping others tend to be more fulfilled.

Fulfillment by Conduct?

The vast majority of people in the United States and probably in the world, believe that the key to a fulfilled life is our good behavior, ambition and hard work. Some add the elements of a good education, building a good list of contacts, etc. The theory goes something like this:

“If I am a good person, generally treat my friends well and give a little to charity, work hard (some add smart), marry well, develop the right friends, get a good job, make enough money (some add power, fame, etc.) I will be successful and happy.”

The general concept of what constitutes a “good person” is totally relative to the social environment in which the person lives. In the U.S.A. this would generally tend to be a person who is a good citizen, a good husband and father, obeys the law, etc. In a country ruled by Sharia Law the concept of what constitutes a good citizen, a good husband and father would be far different than in the U.S.A. or other western nations. In essence we judge good and bad by how we think we compare with those around us. Obviously this standard can be different in various parts of the world but it can even be somewhat different in the middle-class suburbs than in the crime ridden slums.

Our view of success may also be relative to our social, economic and philosophic environment. Although some measure all success by economic and/or social status others consider a faithful husband and good father who has very few personal possessions to be more successful than the head of a major corporation. If the goal is to find personal fulfillment, which standard should we use? Will any of these standards actually work? Can we ever actually find inner peace and joy in this life?

Reviewing the Options

So far we’ve looked at a number of options and the results of the choices people make. We considered the selfishness many exhibit in lusting for wealth, power, fame. We considered how many refuse to accept personal responsibility for their own behavior and in many cases for the behavior of others – shifting blame. We looked at religion, cults and aberrant behaviors. We looked at the fact that some people just give up and just zone out.. We even looked at the option many take of choosing to be a good responsible citizen, father, husband, etc.

We examined the fact that our view of ourselves and others and how we establish moral values is often relative to our location, social environment, economics, philosophy, etc.

None of these approaches totally satisfy – none give genuine lasting peace. Some may satisfy for a time and bring temporary happiness – but it eventually wanes.

If none of these things work – WHAT DOES?

Another Option!

Jesus said:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid John 14:27 New International Version (italics mine).

Personal Responsibility and Caring are Key

Numerous other stories could be cited but to what benefit? If even one person can and does overcome the circumstance of their childhood to become a good person, parent and citizen it must be possible for others to do the same. The fact that they do not then becomes a matter of choice – not necessity. While it is true that an abusive or otherwise tragic childhood can, and often does, produce spiritual scar tissue – it does not necessitate following a path to aberrant antisocial behavior. We have the option to care about the welfare of others no matter what kind of background we come from. We are responsible for our own conduct no matter how others have acted around us – no matter what has been done to us. If this were not true there would never be a Dave Pelzer.

Why are people today so dissatisfied, so unhappy, so unfulfilled? Not that there have not always been some restless, unhappy, unfulfilled people in the world but today the percentage and the degree of unrest seems to be greater than ever before. Why would this be true?

Jesus explained it this way.

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.

Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. John 3:19-20; NIV (italics mine).

In Matthew 24:4-14 Jesus is quoted:

"Watch out that no one deceives you. 5 For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ,' and will deceive many. 6 You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. 7 Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. 8 All these are the beginning of birth pains.

9 "Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. 10 At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11 and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13 but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. 14 And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come. NIV (italics mine).

Then in Matthew 24:25 he says:

See, I have told you beforehand. NKJV (italics mine).

Traditional conservative values, including what has been referred to as “family values”, revolve around the concept of harnessing our nature and controlling our behavior for the betterment of family and society as a whole. In early America this concept was taught in the churches and schools and fostered in the families. Now the movies, TV shows and other media, and even many so-called churches preach a gospel of “Get all you can, can all you get and sit on the can!” This is truly the ‘ME’ generation. Advertisements tell us things like: ”You deserve it”, “I’m worth it”, “Be all you can be”, etc.

Scripture tells us plainly that the standards of men are not good enough! Consider the words of the prophet Isaiah:

5 How then can we be saved? 6 All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away. Isa 64:5-6 NIV (italics mine).

The Apostle Paul wrote to the church in Rome:

"There is no one righteous, not even one;

11 there is no one who understands,

no one who seeks God.

12 All have turned away,

they have together become worthless;

there is no one who does good,

not even one." Rom 3:10-12 NIV (italics mine).

We are trying to reach heaven by standing on a pebble! The fact is we are all born with a predisposition toward selfish, sinful, rebellious behavior . Only with the Lord’s help, can we overcome those tendencies and make better choices.

I heard a comment recently that is worth repeating:

” ‘Life’ is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one. LIVE IT WELL“!

This is a sound philosophy and good advice. It is not unlike something my pastor, Brad Grahams said, “It’s time to quite wanting a different life and start wanting to make a difference with your life.”

Too many of us today are only concerned about what affects me and mine. This is not to say that we should not be concerned with the things that affect us or those we care about, but that should not be our all consuming focus.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Phil 2:3-4; NIV (italics mine).

While we care for our own needs and the needs of those close to us we must also be concerned with the things that affect others around us because we are our brother’s keeper. The day will certainly come when we will need someone to care for our needs. Consider what Jesus taught:

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"

26 "What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"

27 He answered: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

28 "You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live." Luke 10:25-28; NIV (italics mine)

Life is a gift and it is not just about taking care of ourselves and our own selfish desires. It is common knowledge that we are made for community, for sharing, for loving and giving. It’s no secret that the people who love the most and give the most are happier than those who don’t. We don’t do well in isolation – cut off from others no matter what the hermits say or think. Why else would prisons and POW camps have used isolation to enforce discipline and punish offenders? Infants have been known to become ill and can even die when deprived of love and touch. I don’t know who said it but the following is a wise saying:

Go after a life of love as if your life depends on it because it does!

It doesn’t require a scientific study to determine the importance of social contact in our lives. Simply observing our surroundings and the people around us can, if we watch carefully, teach us much about life, the world we live in, and the nature of our existence. Lonely, loveless people are unhappy people!

Some people seem to learn from every experience in their lives. Others seem to go through life’s experiences without learning anything. Each of us has to choose whether we want to grow in character during life’s trials or play the victim. The fact is we are all born with a predisposition toward selfish, sinful, rebellious behavior but we can, with the Lord’s help, overcome those tendencies and make better choices.

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